Scripture Passage: Proverbs 24:3 – “A house is built by wisdom, and it is established by understanding.”

Why do we fight? Where does conflict come from?

Number one, our differences. We are made and created different and we like different things. These are not right or wrong issues, but differences in parenting style and upbringings. We have to learn to embrace those differences.

The second source of conflict comes from our sinful ways. Meaning it’s all about me and when I don’t get my way, I throw a fit. In throwing fits we attack and cause conflict.

Here are a few ways to talk about conflict with your kids.
Reminder: In the midst of conflict always point your energy towards the issues, not the person. This means that it’s my spouse and I verses the problem, NOT me verses my spouse. If the husband wins, you both lose and vice versa. Focus on the issues, not the person. 

1. Work out how they feel – Talk it over to help the process their feelings. Help them manage those feelings in the moment.
2. Talk about wants and needs. What is the differences? Talk through these with them and help them understand the differences.
3. Define the problem/issue. Have them verbalize exactly what happened and what they feel.
4. Help them find the solution. (Don’t just tell them the solution every time) Allowing them to process and find a solution will help them greatly handle conflict in the future.

Most professionals say that the way a young child is taught to handle conflict will stay with them all of their lives. Meaning, if they learn at four years old how to face conflict, when they are adults they will most likely fight and argue like a four year old.

Conflict is healthy and unavoidable. Help your kids handle conflict in a healthy way so they can represent Christ everyday.

Questions: 

• How did your parents handle conflict or teach you to handle conflict?
• Do your kids argue all the time? Next time try the four points above to help them work out the conflict.

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 14:31 — “The one who oppresses the poor person insults his Maker, but one who is kind to the needy honors Him.”

Our View of People Matters
Oppression is prolonged cruel or unjust treatment born out of pride or a sense of being better than someone else. It’s a mindset and behavior that stems from viewing others as having less worth and value.

Our view of people should reflect that all people are created in God’s image and worthy of dignity and respect. We need to remember that there is not one person we will encounter today or tomorrow who is not made in the image of God. Everyone we encounter has worth and value.

How does our view of others affect the way treat them? What keeps you from showing radical kindness to others?

Kindness Matters
You can’t have kindness without a correct view of people. Kindness is grounded in the character of God and is important to Him. The kindness of God is about being gracious to those who don’t deserve it, can’t earn it, or can’t repay us.

When we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. We didn’t earn it. We didn’t deserve it. How different and awful it could have been had Jesus chosen to display His kindness to us based on our earned merit.

In what ways can you go beyond in your kindness? To whom can you show kindness today? Determine that you will not hold back in showing kindness.

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 18:21

The Bible has a great deal to say about words. The words that we speak impact our lives and the lives of those around us. Our words have the power to bless people and also the power to hurt people.

The Hebrew word that’s translated “Gossip” in Proverbs is the work “rakhil” and it means one who slanders. Read the following Scriptures that teach us about Gossip:

• A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence
(Proverbs 11:13).

• A contrary person spreads conflict, and a gossip separates close friends (Proverbs 16:28).

• Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but whoever gossips about it separates friends (Proverbs 17:19).

• A gossip’s words are like choice food that goes down to one’s innermost being (Proverbs 18:8).

Four Questions to Help us Avoid Gossiping:

1. Is he/she here? Is the person that you are talking about physically present?

2. Is it true? The information that we hear about a person may or may not be true.

3. Is it helpful? Are my words helpful for building someone up or do my words tear them down.

4. What does it reveal about my heart? The words we speak reflect what is within our heart. What do the words I speak reveal about my own heart?

Prayer
• Ask God to help you speak words that bless others and build others up according to their needs.
• Ask God to show you how you may be using your words to hurt others through gossip. • Ask God to forgive you and to help you break free from the sin of gossip.
• Ask God to help you speak word that bless others!

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 14:34

This week we will celebrate Independence Day. We are blessed as a nation.
Take a few moments to consider God’s blessing on us as a nation and then pray for our country.

Proverbs 14:34: ”Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.”
The essence of this verse is that the same God who blesses nations can also remove His blessing.

Throughout history nations have risen and fallen. Job 12:23 reminds us that God, “makes nations great, then destroys them; he enlarges nations, then leads them away.”

America is not perfect, but God has richly blessed us.

What are some ways that we have taken God’s blessing for our country for granted?

Righteousness exalts a nation
This does not mean all are righteous nor every leader is righteous. Righteousness refers to moral integrity, practicing justice, understanding and acting on what is right.
Practically, the presence of righteous people in a nation can make such a huge impact.
You cannot separate righteousness and liberty. Any time a people are unrighteous, they are in danger of losing their liberties.

Psalm 33:12: “Happy is the nation whose God is the Lord—the people he has chosen to be his own possession!”

Sin brings down a nation
Psalm 33:10: “The Lord frustrates the counsel of the nations; he thwarts the plans of the peoples.”

Sin is contagious. It affects a person, a home, a nation. Without blessing from God, a nation is on shaky ground.

Discuss the poor substitutes for Divine Blessing found in Psalm 33. . .
• More knowledge: “brings the counsel of the nations to nothing”
• Great strategy: “He thwarts the plans of the peoples.”
• Stronger defense: “A king is not saved by a large army…”

Discuss some of the ways our country has moved from God’s righteousness, i.e. immigration issues, slavery, discrimination, and abortion.

Repentance Restores a Nation
If America is to be great, the source of her greatness will rest in only one place. And if America has lost her greatness, it will be restored in only one way.

2 Chronicles 7:13-14 “If I shut the sky so there is no rain, or if I command the grasshopper to consume the land, or if I send pestilence on my people, 14 and my people, who bear my name, humble themselves, pray and seek my face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.”

If we cry out to God, if we seek His face, then we have every reason to hope that our children and their children can reap the blessings of God as we have.

• Offer prayers of confession to God in some of the ways we have fallen short as a people. • Ask for God’s wisdom for our leaders.
• Ask for the Holy Spirit of God to refresh His people.

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 3:11-12

Happy Father’s Day!

Special days like Father’s Day can be emotionally positive or negative — depending on the role our father played in our lives. God’s design for the family is to have a mom and a dad because it takes a man and woman, father and mother, to reflect God’s image to a child.

The First Ingredient for Biblical Fatherhood is Instruction

Vs. 11 – “Do not despise the Lord’s instruction my son and do not loathe his discipline.”

The purpose of fatherly instruction is to inform and equip. Many passages in Proverbs are about a father teaching his children about living wisely. Someone noted that proverbs is not a book for philosophers to ponder but rather a book for parents to practice.

The primary duty of a father is not to fix things or take out the trash but instead to teach his children. If you are a father, what are some practical ways in which you are teaching your children to live in a way pleasing to God.

The Second Ingredient for Biblical Fatherhood is Correction

The purpose of correction is to adjust and strengthen. Parents must love their kids enough to correct them. Requiring obedience of children is implicit in the biblical requirement that children obey their parents (read Ephesians 6:1).

The purpose of discipline and correction is to adjust and strengthen and not to humiliate or to anger. As a dad, what adjustments do you need to make in regard to how you discipline your children?

The Third Ingredient for Biblical Fatherhood is Affection

Vs. 12. “for the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.”

For some, affection may be something difficult to express. We can, however, show affection by being a part of our children’s lives by being there for the big and small moments, especially those that can’t be repeated. Parents should also verbalize affection because there is power in words.

As a dad, how do you show affection to your children?

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 18

Do you have true, strong, healthy relationships in your life? We can all relate that friends are always a huge part of our daily lives, but how do we keep them healthy so they lead us down the right path?

“I Choose You”

Every friendship begins with a choice. The truth in life is that we cannot be best friends with everyone in life, but we can choose who we are close to and who we need to keep at a distance. It is healthy to be selective and intentional with those who you invest your time and emotional energy with.

Discuss: Think of a time when you chose the wrong friend. What were the negative effects of that choice?

“I Know You”

Friendship is about getting to know someone and know someone well. Through knowing someone well we see the good things and we see the bad things, but a friend sees both of these things and still likes you anyway. Having a friend that knows a lot about you helps keep you accountable to the things of the Lord and will know when you need help.

Discuss: Who knows you well? How did that person get to know you well? When and how did that friend help you in your walk with Christ?

“I Challenge You”

A good friend isn’t someone who only says good things to you, but a true friend challenges you to be the best you that you can be. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that we need to sharpen each other like iron sharpens iron — not always a fun process but one that makes us better. We want this challenge so that we can continue to grow towards Christ.

Discuss: Who is someone in your life that challenges you toward Christ? How do they challenge you?

“I’m Committed to You”

True friends are found in adversity. A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. We have to be on the lookout for these people because they are the ones that are truly on our team through the thick and the thin.

Discuss: Who was there for you during the hard times? What did it mean to you?

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 1:1-7

Biblical wisdom is similar but not the same as the wisdom of the world. Proverbs 1:1-7 shows that Biblical Wisdom has three dimensions to it.

1. Biblical Wisdom is Moral | Proverbs 1:3
If you asked someone what wisdom is, the first answer you’d probably get would have something to do with morals and deciding about right and wrong. The pictures we have in our head about Solomon usually involves him being confronted with a complicated situation with no easy answers and somehow he decides on what the right thing to do. And it’s true. This is a huge dimension of what wisdom is. Wisdom will help you be righteous, seek justice, and be fair with all people even in complicated situations. But that is not the whole story.

2. Biblical Wisdom is Practical | Proverbs 1:2, 4-6
The Hebrew word for wisdom is best translated as “skill.” It is used to describe the ability of the craftsmen who worked on the tabernacle in Exodus 31:6. The Proverbs are not abstract concepts. They are radically practical.

Wisdom isn’t just something you know. It’s something you do. It is learning to live skillfully. Verses 2 literally says, “to receive instruction in wise behavior.” The word we use here at Kingsland for this is “true fulfillment.” You will find true fulfillment when you acquire wisdom, literally when you learn the skill of living well.

3. Biblical Wisdom is Theological Proverbs !:7
Wisdom is moral. Wisdom is practical. But the most important dimension of wisdom is that it is theological, which is just a fancy way of saying that it is God-Focused. Several times in the proverbs, including in verse 7, we are reminded that “fear of the Lord” is where everything begins.

People often think “fearing God” means that we should be afraid of God. But that is not what it means. We are told that God loves us (John 3:16), and that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). So fearing God cant mean to be afraid of Him.

Fearing God means to be “to wonder and be amazed at.” The difference is discerned in its effect on us. To be afraid of something makes you run away from it. To be awed by something makes you want to draw closer to it. Fearing God is to be amazed by who God is and to desire to draw closer to Him.

This is the most important dimension of wisdom because it is the source. Wisdom comes from being in right relationship with the one who made the world.

• Wisdom is moral, it will help you make right decisions in hard situations.
• Wisdom is practical, it will help you learn to live skillfully.
• Wisdom is theological, it will draw you closer to God, and the closer you are to God the more His life will flow into yours.

Discussion Questions:
• What does it mean that wisdom is learning to live skillfully?
• What does it mean to fear God? Why is it the beginning of becoming wise?

Scripture Passage: Proverbs 31:8-9

A picture frame gets its value from the art or image inside of it. The Sanctity of Life discussion is rooted in the truth that we have value because our human frames bear the image of God–not because of how powerful we are, what ethnicity we are, or because of anything we can offer to society.

As Christ-followers, there are three key choices we have to make in our defense of the sanctity of life.

1. Always Choose People Over Convenience.
We need to embrace the value and personhood of those who “have no voice.”

“Speak up for those who have no voice, for the justice of all who are dispossessed.”
-Proverbs 31:8

Valuing life doesn’t just apply to abortion. We show we value life when we appreciate and defend all life regardless of class, disability, age, etc.

2. Always Choose Right Over Injustice. 
When we say that our convenience is more important than the value of life, we are placing ourselves on the throne instead of God. We must do what is right even in the face of wrong-doing, confusion, or opposition.

3. Always Choose Grace Over Condemnation. 
We must understand that regardless of the mistakes from our past, complete forgiveness and freedom can be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. God’s grace and forgiveness provides healing from our hurts and gives us a new start!

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
-1 John 1:9

Discussion Questions:

• What kinds of people are in danger of being devalued in our culture?
• Has there ever been a time where you stood up for someone who was being devalued? Why did you do that?
• What are the challenges or risks in defending the devalued?
• What is something you can decide to do today to show sanctity for life?

Click here for a digital copy of the parent’s guide to discussing Sanctity of Life with your kids.